Another death in the family.

Tuesday, 29 December 2009.

This was supposed to be an exciting day out for the kids as my hubby made plans to take them and their cousins to Kuala Gandah, the Elephant Rehabilitation Sanctuary.

After breakfast, hubby dropped me off to work and he headed to Ampang to meet up with the kids. They were supposed to start their journey to Kuala Gandah at 10 am.

At 9:45 am I received a phone call from hubby, sobbing, informing me that MAK, my mother in law has passed away. What a shock. I just saw her last Sunday at the hospital. And today is the day that she supposed to be discharged out from the hospital!

Mak Ampang or Mak Tok by her grandchildren.


Hubby rushed to the hospital. What was known that she was all well in the morning. Got dressed but she called on the nurse after feeling nausea. She collapsed on her hospital bed and nurses were called to resuscitate her. But she was pronounced dead due to her diabetic complications. Heart attack that is.

I called Sheri to help to send me to Ampang since I do not have my car with me. Around 10:30 am Sheri arrived at my office with her two kids and I showed her directions to Ampang house.

Upon our arrival, Shakiel was there to greet us and announced that, "Mak Tok dah meninggal." I acknowledged and told both his sister and him that this is not a happy occasion. I know he was happy to see us but his excitement was not proper at the time. They are just kids....I said to myself.

Quite a number of people were already there reciting Yassin and chit chatting, I guess they were surprised as well by MIL's passing. I proceeded to the kitchen where I see a few relatives busying themselves cutting 'Daun Pandan' to spread on the grave later at the funeral service. My hubby was no where to be seen and I presume he is still at the hospital. I did not make any attempt to call him as I don't want to upset him more.

I tried to keep myself busy by boiling water, brushing a few pots and filling with water, which later will be brought to the graveyard. Most of the time the ladies were just sitting while others come and go.

Just right after Zohor prayers, MIL arrived. All wrapped in white cloth and laid in the middle of the living room for her friends and relatives to view her for the last time. Some were sobbing, had teary eyes and I sat way back and recited surah Yassin.

Later I went outside to see how hubby is doing....obviously shock and upset. People started to arrive and the house is filled with sadness. Soon after that she will be driven to Masjid Kampung Melayu to be bathe and 'kapan' (or wrapped) before being buried. I stood by the kitchen walkway and tears just flowed. Makcik Ani said that I should go and join when they bathe MIL. I don't know, should I? Afterall I am just the daughter in law, and MIL has 3 other daughters who are much deserving to carry out the duty. Again, she insisted on me going....I nod and said to myself, yes it will be an honor!

As they carried MIL into the awaiting van, everyone started rushing to the main entrance. I got blocked...naturally I stayed back. Then they started to proceed to the mosque and later I realized I was put on the spot. When everyone left, I stayed back to monitor the kids and other incoming phone calls. Still people dropped by and I directed them to the mosque.

At some point, I felt deserted...but its okay since I do have a heavy role here. Luck came when hubby called asked me about lunch and when he dropped lunch off, I told him I am tied up but please get me when they are leaving for the funeral service. Now I can't leave the house because I could not get hold of the house keys.

Finally I got to the mosque during 'sembahyang jenazah'. Sad though I did not get to see MIL for the last time. It may be important but it's okay I guess. It is not what you see is important but its what you remember her by that you will keep forever. I much prefer to remember her from the last visit...all smiles and giggling at one point.

Funeral was quick and simple and it ended by 6 pm.

Abah Ampang was sad but being a man you have to show that you are strong on the surface. In the inside, only God knows. To Abah or Atok Bacik, berbanyak sabar sebab ini semua cubaan hidup kita. I still belief life goes on for those alive.

I remember I once said to Nora, Abang Ngah's wife when they lost their month old baby, "Bersabar. Perjalanan hidup kita masih panjang!" Hmmmm and I meant that well.

'Kenduri Arwah' will run 3 nights in a row. We will be in Ampang most of this week.

To MAK, walaupun Shera tak sempat tengok, cium dan minta maaf pada MAK, di sini Shera nak minta ampun banyak dan halalkan makan dan minum Shera. MAK jangan risau, semua dosa MAK pada Shera (kalau ada) dah pun Shera maafkan. Insya Allah, selagi termampu empat kerat tulang Shera....Shera akan jaga 'si abang'.

I haven't been an exemplary daughter in law.

Al Fathihah.