Al Fatihah to Amir Ridza Hashim.

After my shower this morning I decided to where 'baju kurung' to work. For some reason I felt weird doing so because first of all I rarely wear baju kurung to work and secondly it was the first thing I saw when I opened my closet this morning. So that was it, I decided to wear the green baju kurung to work.

I arrived work at 8:28 a.m. and at 8:59 a.m. I received a call from my other half. He never does that so early in the morning. I answered and he was sobbing when he mentioned, "Panjang dah meninggal..." (Panjang passed away). I asked my other half if he wants me to accompany him, but he said it's okay he'll go to the hospital and update me from there. In fact if he would said okay, I am like all ready in my baju kurung. Coincidence?

To me and his WMUians,  Amir Ridza Hashim was Panjang which means long or tall. He was diagnosed with cancer in the lungs a couple of weeks into the recent fasting month. I have to admit that wasn't really a shock being a smoker and all....and he left us this morning in his sleep after only battling cancer for 2 months. Cancer has spread to his brain; left him paralyzed on the left side of the body and towards the of his life he had to be tube fed.

I had so many fond memories of Panjang and I want to remember the Panjang I know. However, I am relief that I went to see you last Sunday as a matter of fact for the very last time......

I was honored to have known him since our University years. He was tall, fair skinned, and slangky. I guess that's how he got his nickname. I guess I knew him much earlier than I knew my other half. I would normally hangout with Panjang and his friends (including my other half who was in the process of courting me....hahaha). He drove an old Mazda RX-7. We had best times vacationing to Chicago on several occasions but most of all I enjoyed listening to him play the guitar.

Panjang in red turtle neck next to me me (in shorts).

Panjang in dark sunglasses standing next to me (in black shorts)

There were nights I would hang out at his apartment on West Michigan Ave. Rosman and Mabut cooked dinner. Then we have Nasir, our Cifu who would raise contradictory issues and we sat listening to him. While Panjang and my other half would take out their guitars and start plucking to classic tunes. We would sing to Hotel California, Paul Young's Every time You Go Away, and few Malay songs. My favorite was when Panjang played Eric Johnson's Cliff Over Dover. He would put on the Amp and played along to the tune just like the original piece. Every time I hangout there I would asked him to play Cliff Over Dover.

Credit to On the music path on You Tube, You Tube and Google.

I guess it's time for me to buck-up. I need to stopped the old and bad habits of mine for the sake of my children. To Panjang,....I pray that Allah will weight all the good things you've done and forgive all of your sins. Thank you for your help with my car insurance claim. Thank you for offering a job opportunity to my other half. Thank you for all the fun and good time we spent at WMU. Thank you. Thank you and thank you.

There are so many things I would like to share here but let it remain private. I am going to missed you. Mat Garn will definitely miss you. We all will miss you.

Rest in Peace.

Al Fatihah.

To get my priority straight.

Hi.....

The past month has been a period of anguish, suffering and a sequence of test by the Al-Mighty. I am just not ready to write and share what I've been through in these past months.

No, I have not abandoned this site. It is just right after the 19 Mar 2016 incident I somehow diverted my interest into Fictional novel writing. I have so far posted 21 chapters of my novel in my third blogspot site and currently working on chapter 22. I wanna do something outside the of box just for fun. So far I have a few faithful reader who follow my novel and I thank them so much.

Of course it's a romance novel where the plot comes out of my imagination. Though, there were people who I came across in my past whom I added supporting roles just to develop my story line.  You know how much we women deprived of a good man in our life, a man who is very supportive, caring, gentleman, mature, and not selfish! Where can you find those character if not in a novel. We women crave for attention and drama (as my other half would say...uwekkk!) and I hope this novel can take you to your own La...La...Land!

Credit Google Image and quotesgram.com 

It is not really easy to create a plot or story line because when I write it comes out there and then.....all I wish is to maintain a smooth transition from one chapter to the other. The novel mainly revolves around Atikah and Hans and additional characters are rarely used. Each chapter comes with a specific song which signify how Atikah or Hans felt.

Unfortunately I had to combine both English and Malay language in my novel. Though it's a trend these days in novel writing but I have to admit mine was due to weakness in vocabulary....hahaha....

Anyway, when I find the confidence I will share the blog site here. In the meantime, my priority is completing the novel.

Just sharing here a short section from chapter 1.

**************************************************

Characters:

Atikah/Tika
Hans Azman

Part 1.

Pagi itu aku nekad untuk bertemu Hans di tempat yang kami rancangkan. Perjalanan yang memakan masa selama satu jam terasa lama untuk sampai.

Am I excited to see him? Yes of course. Lama tak bertentangan mata dengan Hans. Rindu serindunya. Tapi aku selalu tak mahu admit it.

Rasa guilty? Yes of course. Tapi kenapa aku buat kerja bodoh ni? Berdosa Tika, berdosa. Ahhh! Aku jumpa Hans saja, bukannya buat apa-apa pun…..kata-kata seolah menenangkan perasaan ku.

Pertemuan yang tak disangka 2 minggu lalu di Starbucks Cyberjaya is the result of this second meeting. 

"Hello, what are you doing in my corner of the world?", aku menyapa jejaka yang beratur dihadapan ku.

"Eh, hi. How are you?", he was surprised to see me. "What are you doing here?"

"Do you still remember me? Dah lama sangat rasanya tak dengar any news from you", aku membalas. "I am good and you?".

He smiled. "Yeah, yeah, I'm alright".

After paying for his coffee he told the barrister over the counter, "I'll pay whatever this lady's buying...". "OK Sir...", said the barrister.

"Eh,...Hans it's okay....", aku tersengih malu.

"No, no,...it's on me...ok. I insist", he said.

As I walked to collect my hot Caramel Latte, I saw him smiling. "If you are not too busy, wanna join me for coffee here?"

Would I? Well, why not. He is not a total stranger. We met occasionally in the past 2 years.

"Sure, boleh....", I smiled back at him.

We talked mostly about work and family. Sedar tak sedar, kami bersembang lebih 2 jam.

"Well Hans, I have to go. I have to run a few errands but it was really nice seeing you again", as I picked up my coffee and cellphone from the table.

"Yeah, yeah,...I don't want to keep you here too long, too. Perhaps we can do this again? Soon?", he said sambil menghulurkan tangan untuk bersalam.

"Boleh, Better still come over to the house, you still remember the way kan....", aku menyambut salamnya. Dia seperti gugup.

As I walk to leave the table, I turned around and asked him, "Do you still have my number?"

He immediately replied, "Yes, yes I do".

End Of Part 1 of Chapter One.

At Mom's 17 Mar 2016

My mom takes care of her garden very well. Once a month she will have her lawn mowed. Her plants are always fat and healthy. The envy of my sister and my other half.

KUMAR

After laying low and feeling depressed for the past couple of weeks...I am back.....yay!


Just wanna share here about Kumar, the guy standing next to Shakiel. Don't they look related? Hahaha...same color t-shirt they have on....kikikik....what a coincidence.

Kumar standing next to Shakiel - from my personal album taken on iphone.

Kumar works at a mamak stall we normally patronage. Nice guy and funny. We've known him for more than 5 years. We created a bond between each other that when we come for our quick dinner he will not miss to attend/serve us. He knows what we want to drink and eat. Sometimes we would say, "Biasa.." or the usual...Other waiters tried to come between this bond but we brush them off. We are so used to Kumar and comfortable with his services. We definitely look for him everytime when we dine at Barakath. We prefer him and no one else. If there comes a time Kumar decides to go back to India for good, we are prepared to stop going to Barakath. Yes to that extend. New waiters/helper tried taking our menus but we tell them later please, we have not decided what to eat, at the same time looking out for Kumar. The old/seasoned waiter knows and they do not bother us....hahahahaaaa......

 Before Kumar, there was Jojo, a tall Sri Lankan guy who use to serve us. I guess we are a bit picky when it comes to who is serving us.....no..no special treatment but when we click, we just 'click'.

 One time my other half decided to pay for dinner. Most of the time I pay for all meals....Kumar looks surprised. He smiled while his fingers were punching the numbers on the calculator.

He said, "RM29."

My other half replied, "Wah, Kenapa mahal? (why expensive?)

Kumar replied, "kalau abang bayar mahal. Kakak bayar saya kasi diskaun! (When you pay its fixed price but if ur wife pay I give discount)

......hahahah... smooth Kumar, smooth.

Can I move on from here....?

I have been mopping around the house the past few days. Whenever I'm sitting alone, last weekend incident kept replaying in my mind again and again....WHAT IF???

I am finding my strength in writing and I really hope by doing this I can move on with my life....

Yes, it still hurts physically but mostly it is emotionally. People say, "Things happened for a reason. Allah has other plan for me and my family."

Credit to Nasuhafatin.blogspot and Google Image.

I share the below quote from an entry I wrote in 2011, click here It is an excerpt from a book I read  back then and it goes something like this.....,

" Allah kalau sayangkan umat-Nya akan menguji manusia tiga perkara untuk melihat sejauh mana ketabahan seseorang itu. Pertama; diambil-Nya insan yang kita cintai, kedua; akan diberikan seseorang itu penyakit azab, ketiga; akan diambil-Nya segala harta kekayaan menjadikan seseorang itu kehilangan segala kemewahan. Tiga azab ini akan menguji ketabahan dan kepasrahan seseorang itu terhadap-Nya."

Translation :

When the All Mighty God, Allah, love His followers, He will test upon them 3 things to measure the extend how they are able to withstand to His tests. First; He will take the person we love, second; He will give you a terminal illness, third; He will take away all of your wealth. Those three will test your perseverance and resigned upon God.

I am feeling again the 3rd test. And they will be more to come........

Usah tewas dengan hasutan syaitan, cari kembali kekuatan kita kerana kekuatan itu ada dalam diri kita masing-masing.

Insya Allah, I know I can do it........................

When Words Fail, Music Speaks

Check out new posting in http://shs-shark2.blogspot.my/

Credit to You Tube and CBS

Kenny Rogers and Lionel Ritchie singing to Lady....

How he has grown up so much!

This is me and Ben. Ben's mom is my late mother's younger sister and we were very close. His mom, Aunty Zali was like a second mother to me when I was growing up. She was the only aunt who cared so much about the well being of my sister and me after my mom passed away. Every school holiday after that we will spend a night or two at her house and while I was in College I was a regular tenant at their house. Ben's sister was away at school in Perth and Ben hangs out with me most of the time.

Clowning around with him....

Ben (very right) and his sister hangs out with my college mates.

And, this is Ben today.....so proud of you....

CEO Air Asia X Berhad.