Mr B

Going on to my secondary 2, I was 14 and blossoming into a young lady, everything was blossoming if you get what I mean...hehehe...my hormones, hay-wired.

Suddenly I became the center of attention when I receive proposals again wanting to take me as their pet sisters. You could say it was the trend back then. So I anticipated the invitation from Mr B. I had a few other choices....ya know...hehehe....

Mr B was in secondary six and that makes him 6 years older than me. He was tall, lean, well built, dark and somewhat good looking too. Again I fell for an all rounder athlete. He was good in soccer, especially athletics and in other team sports as well. So, that's probably why he was dark skinned. Not knowing to me, he has many other admirers and they said I was plain lucky that he picked me. Duh!?

Being in the same Yellow House or Shaidali (sport house color)we took the opportunity to meet up after school. So happened we were busy preparing and practicing for our Sports Day. We spent a lot of time getting to know each other. And coincidentally Mr B was my house captain. Ta..daaaa.....

However after a while I find the relationship had higher expectations when Mr. B shared his inner feelings with me. I wasn't sure and I consulted a few close friends then suddenly out of the blue, rumor went around that Mr B and me were an item. I was put in a humiliating situation. If this spreads around, the teachers might find out about it too. I like him. I have to make a decision. At the same time he was also seeing this other girl (on and off). He was willing to stop seeing her if I agreed to become his 'girl'. Several times he asked where our relationship was heading and I would usually keep quite. If I respond negatively, there will be other girls waiting in line willingly to take my place. On the other hand, if I said yes,....I will be in deep shit!

Please excuse me, I was only 14. As much as I liked him, I cannot commit. It is impossible. I was naive. Love is blind and it blinded once judgment. But I need to find away to break the news to him...in a nice way.

Once in a while I feel good thinking about Mr B. His future plans and I am in it. Marriage and how he will proposed to me when I complete my secondary 5. He just swept me off my feet! How romantic! Then suddenly...., my dad appeared in the storyline and cut! Time out! I shivered. I snapped back to reality. I cannot do that. I love my family more than let my future go to waste. I am being reasonable here.

I played truant. Started to be an expert liar all because of my selfishness. Once my uncle (Uncle Ros) found out, I planned to joined Mr B and friends for a trip to Teluk Batik by the seaside. The plan backfired and my uncle gave me a stern warning. I was scared by his treat. At the time, I hated Uncle Ros so much because he caught up with my plans. How stupid I was. The town was small and everyone knows my uncle, what else my grandfather. I thought I could get away with it.

After being warned, I composed myself to tell him that I cannot continue this friendship. In the presence of 2 other girlfriends, I told him I was dying because I have severe back pain. He was very hurt and turned angry that he kicked a few tables in front of him. I was shocked. Then he said, "Ok. In 3 years time I will come back here and look for your grave!!!" And he walked out of the room. From then on we were strangers. I feel bad lying to him and I can't find enough guts to tell him the whole truth. Next thing I heard he left school to join the Malaysian Police Force. I was relieved otherwise I do not know how to face him at school and see that hatred expression on his face.

My personal advise...never, ever lie about your own health for the sake of saving your own ass. In my case 10 years later I was diagnose with TB in the Spine and it almost made me paralyzed! I went through a major surgery and had to put on medication for one year. I am living with some of the sight effects of the treatment. So please don't ever lie about your health when you want to get out of a situation!

Life moved on and after 3 years I was still alive.

In 1986 we shifted to Penang since my dad was promoted as Head of the Penang Special Branch. We lived at 20A Jalan Greenlane...I like the address. The residence was what left by the British during their colonialism in Malaya. Green, fresh and exuberant. My sister and I would tagged along dad whenever he visited other police station around Penang, Butterworth, Seberang Perai and Bukit Mertajam. For him that was our family quality time. Officially he was on duty.

One day, at home, I happened to came across a full list of police personnel and their contacts for the whole of Penang and guess what? Mr B was listed as a Police Inspector stationed in Seberang Perai. His address and phone number were in it too. But luckily we never bump into each other while my dad was posted in Penang. I wonder what will happened if we ever did. Surely an awkward scene. I am pretty sure, he knows my dad and he better not mess with dad. Anyway, he was already married. Then I imagine,...an inspector's wife, with kids...but God had other plans for me. And indeed He did!

I am sure I made the correct decision to end the friendship. He was mature enough and knows what he wanted in life. Whereas myself, at 14, still getting RM15 bi-weekly pocket money from dad! I wish him all the best. Now he has a successful career in Forensic at Bukit Aman. By the way he is now a grandfather!

Do follow my journey....Mr. C.