Have I Accepted The Facts?

I don't know....I should. Shouldn't I?

Whenever I'm alone, my mind would fly off and think of Abah. Driving to work I feel numb most of the time. I would cry and cry and cry. I try to keep my mind and self occupied as much as possible and at night I will quickly go to bed and try not to think. Period.

Am I sad? Of course! But have I accepted the fact? That is something I need to figure out by myself.

My Abah is a special man in my life. Since my biological mom passed away some 32 years ago, he has been my rock. He has saved my ass numerous times and I can't remember the last time I thanked him for that.

The last trip he stayed at my place, the morning before he left for Parit, he said thank you to me and I love you,shera. I haven't heard he said that to me in....ages. It didn't click me at the time but now it seems like something unusual.

You know how sometimes people do or say weird things before they die? That is how I feel to think of it. He is a tough guy and having those words coming out from him is to cherish forever. He knows that I know, I am his favorite daughter.

I am proud of my dad. He has gone for his first chemo session last week and the next will be this coming Thursday. Every weekend I will go and visit him at my sister's house. It is difficult to see him getting frail and weak. He still goes for his morning walks though he said it tires him. He takes supplements to strengthened his immune system.

At this rate, I can only pray that I have another year with him. ABAH I love you!