Abah Has Lung Cancer

Amidst the excited time watching Shakira off to her school I received a sad news that my dad was admitted to Pantai MC in Ipoh for a minor surgery. He had problem urinating and pass motion. The surgery was successful. Somehow his coughs gave way for the doctors to further run tests and after a CT Scan they discovered my dad has lung cancer.

What can I say? A shock? Or something expected? Being a smoker since he was in his teens....I guess people are not surprised due to his smoking history. The young Dr. Michael Joseph explained to abah (and infront of us all) that the cancer has spread to his left lung. Abah has 6-9 months to live and should he undergo Chemotheraphy it may prolong his life span up to a year.

Abah laid down listening and jokingly said, "Well doc, it looks like it the end of the road for me."
But the doctor replied, "No Sir don't think it as that way. There is no cure for cancer but you are fit and with chemo it helps to prolonged life."

The doctor left. We were numb. What can I be thinking? How's mom taking it? All this while she has been living with Abah and now we have a deadline. My sister ran outside after the doctor to have a few words. She came in with teary eyes. Me? I don't know yet how I feel. Shock? Perhaps? Numb? Perhaps? I think it hasn't kick in yet. No way this is happening to me. I lost my mom....and now my dad? Wow! How can I live without my DAD?

We thought of going for a second opinion but abad feels that it is not necessary. Cancer is still cancer, no doubt about it. And he wants to go through Chemo. From then on my sis has taken control of setting an appointment with an oncologist from HUKM, shipping him back and fro for chemo treatment, accommodate both my parents at her house. What is left for me to do? I know mom would feel comfortable having sis in control as she is very authoritative, informative and they have a special bond. So where does this leave me? I love my dad too. Maybe circumstances does not permits me.

Recently I received my retro salary of 2 step increase from March last year. I gave certain amount to mom the other day and I just don't know what and how to say what the cash is for. I know they don't actually need it but I thought she could at least use my contribution to pay for the drugs and medication for ABAH. After that, I thought how I wish I could have explained what the cash was for. I am just not goods with spoken words.


Abah and his cucu.


Abah and Shakiel.

It is going to be a tough time this year. Accepting the fact that Abah is dying. I know everyone will die one day but it is different when it happens to you.