Goodbye 2009 and Hello 2010.

I am glad to say good bye to 2009.ANd may 2010 bring good luck and more prosperity to our family!

Another death in the family.

Tuesday, 29 December 2009.

This was supposed to be an exciting day out for the kids as my hubby made plans to take them and their cousins to Kuala Gandah, the Elephant Rehabilitation Sanctuary.

After breakfast, hubby dropped me off to work and he headed to Ampang to meet up with the kids. They were supposed to start their journey to Kuala Gandah at 10 am.

At 9:45 am I received a phone call from hubby, sobbing, informing me that MAK, my mother in law has passed away. What a shock. I just saw her last Sunday at the hospital. And today is the day that she supposed to be discharged out from the hospital!

Mak Ampang or Mak Tok by her grandchildren.


Hubby rushed to the hospital. What was known that she was all well in the morning. Got dressed but she called on the nurse after feeling nausea. She collapsed on her hospital bed and nurses were called to resuscitate her. But she was pronounced dead due to her diabetic complications. Heart attack that is.

I called Sheri to help to send me to Ampang since I do not have my car with me. Around 10:30 am Sheri arrived at my office with her two kids and I showed her directions to Ampang house.

Upon our arrival, Shakiel was there to greet us and announced that, "Mak Tok dah meninggal." I acknowledged and told both his sister and him that this is not a happy occasion. I know he was happy to see us but his excitement was not proper at the time. They are just kids....I said to myself.

Quite a number of people were already there reciting Yassin and chit chatting, I guess they were surprised as well by MIL's passing. I proceeded to the kitchen where I see a few relatives busying themselves cutting 'Daun Pandan' to spread on the grave later at the funeral service. My hubby was no where to be seen and I presume he is still at the hospital. I did not make any attempt to call him as I don't want to upset him more.

I tried to keep myself busy by boiling water, brushing a few pots and filling with water, which later will be brought to the graveyard. Most of the time the ladies were just sitting while others come and go.

Just right after Zohor prayers, MIL arrived. All wrapped in white cloth and laid in the middle of the living room for her friends and relatives to view her for the last time. Some were sobbing, had teary eyes and I sat way back and recited surah Yassin.

Later I went outside to see how hubby is doing....obviously shock and upset. People started to arrive and the house is filled with sadness. Soon after that she will be driven to Masjid Kampung Melayu to be bathe and 'kapan' (or wrapped) before being buried. I stood by the kitchen walkway and tears just flowed. Makcik Ani said that I should go and join when they bathe MIL. I don't know, should I? Afterall I am just the daughter in law, and MIL has 3 other daughters who are much deserving to carry out the duty. Again, she insisted on me going....I nod and said to myself, yes it will be an honor!

As they carried MIL into the awaiting van, everyone started rushing to the main entrance. I got blocked...naturally I stayed back. Then they started to proceed to the mosque and later I realized I was put on the spot. When everyone left, I stayed back to monitor the kids and other incoming phone calls. Still people dropped by and I directed them to the mosque.

At some point, I felt deserted...but its okay since I do have a heavy role here. Luck came when hubby called asked me about lunch and when he dropped lunch off, I told him I am tied up but please get me when they are leaving for the funeral service. Now I can't leave the house because I could not get hold of the house keys.

Finally I got to the mosque during 'sembahyang jenazah'. Sad though I did not get to see MIL for the last time. It may be important but it's okay I guess. It is not what you see is important but its what you remember her by that you will keep forever. I much prefer to remember her from the last visit...all smiles and giggling at one point.

Funeral was quick and simple and it ended by 6 pm.

Abah Ampang was sad but being a man you have to show that you are strong on the surface. In the inside, only God knows. To Abah or Atok Bacik, berbanyak sabar sebab ini semua cubaan hidup kita. I still belief life goes on for those alive.

I remember I once said to Nora, Abang Ngah's wife when they lost their month old baby, "Bersabar. Perjalanan hidup kita masih panjang!" Hmmmm and I meant that well.

'Kenduri Arwah' will run 3 nights in a row. We will be in Ampang most of this week.

To MAK, walaupun Shera tak sempat tengok, cium dan minta maaf pada MAK, di sini Shera nak minta ampun banyak dan halalkan makan dan minum Shera. MAK jangan risau, semua dosa MAK pada Shera (kalau ada) dah pun Shera maafkan. Insya Allah, selagi termampu empat kerat tulang Shera....Shera akan jaga 'si abang'.

I haven't been an exemplary daughter in law.

Al Fathihah.

My Family

This photo was taken on my 4th birthday.


This was taken in 1976. (I still looking for this family photo...mana pergi entahla.)
Update : 29-Oct-2013.
Found it! Taken a year before my mom passed away

This was taken in 1990 before I left for the States. Airport Subang lama.

And this, was taken in 1997.

My Grand Father

Culturally in a Malay family, we tend to have a much closer contact with the father's side of the family. So does my family. My dad's side of the family were the family which was most visited and was the first house we headed for any annual festive celebration.

When you have two sets of family, I mean my dad's side and the other being my mom's, I'd make comparisons who is the best grand father and grand mother. And as I was growing up, Datuk Taib always come out as the winner.

Datuk Taib is my mom's dad. He is the dotting grandfather who gets so excited and anxious whenever he greeted his grandchildren. One time, my aunt Zali told me that bila Datuk Taib dengar je cucu dia sampai kat gate, punya la dia seronok....sampai nak terlondeh kain sarong dia terkejar2 nak bukakan gate. He loves his grandchildren equally but the way he does it makes you alone, feel very special.

My two grand fathers. Datuk Taib on the left with Tok Din (my dad's father). I was so happy to have found this photo. It was taken during my parent's akad nikah 14 Aug 1966.


Datuk Taib was in the army and I do not know much about his career. I was too young at the time but what I know he retired as one of the highest ranking army officer after serving Yam Tuan Negeri Sembilan (who is then the first Agong of Malaysia), as his ADC. Then he was a Manager with British Tobacco. After he retired from British Tobacco he resided in Port Dickson.

Datuk Taib in box. He was a part of our history during Malaya independence from British. I am so proud of him.


Datuk Taib is so stylish, I guess influenced by his tough discipline while in the armed forces. He dressed well, had a lavish lifestyle and drove sports car, all again influenced by British 'mindset' on colonization. His house was the first stoned built house in Teluk Kemang! With flushed toilet bowl!

He would bring me around to buy nasi lemak for breakfast in his brown Holden and politely greet people. That smile ooo, how much I missed that. We would also walk to a private beach belonged to Mr. Ba Pat about 50 meters from Datuk Taib's house. Mr. Ba Pat also owned a private bungalow on the beach.

Datuk cared for me for a short period while I was a baby because my mom just cannot controlled her temper whenever I gave her an attitude. She would throw me on the bed and Datuk would come and pick me up and try to stop me from terlalak and terlolong. He was also at each and every of my birthday party organized by mummy.

Then, in Jan 1977 my mom passed away. It affected him so much. Datuk had several medical conditions from high blood pressure to heart ailment. And with the demise of my mother his conditioned worsen. I didn't get to see him as often as I wanted since I 'd already started my schooling in Parit, my dad's hometown (after mummy's death my sister and I were shipped to Parit to continue with our schooling). "Too much for Abah to handled and to raised us.", I would say. Datuk did try to talk Abah into letting me stay with him in PD after mummy's death. But Abah rather have me stay with Tok Din who is known for his strict discipline. He was a School Headmaster and orang kat kampung memang respect abis kat dia.

Hari Raya 1979 was supposed to be, at least for me, a routine raya visit to PD before I found out Abah called off the trip. Since he was posted to Terengganu, he travelled back to Parit and will travel down to KL for a few days and later drive back to Kuala Terengganu. Obviously I was very disappointed by his decision because this means I will not be able to see Datuk Taib.

Abah said it is not rational to travel from Parit to PD then after a night or two at PD, he had to make a return trip back to Parit to send me back. I obliged with heavy heart.

Fortunately, I made it to PD. Not in a good fortunately way.

The news of Datuk Taib's passing on second raya was a shock. IF....what if...all the ifs questions started popping out. I blamed Abah for not taking me to PD, maybe Datuk would still be alive.

When I arrived PD there were crowds of people at Datuk's house. I saw Nenek Esah sobbing uncontrollably. When she saw me she hugged me and spoke, "Datuk tanya mana Shera? Dia tak balik ke?" and she continued sobbing. Others tried to comfort her. I was told Datuk had a bad tooth ache. He tried to extract the tooth but was unsuccessful. Don't know why he didn't think of going to the dentist. Then he fallen ill, vomited blood and ambulance was called. At the hospital he was pronounced dead.

Semua ni Abah's fault! That was the first thing that cross my mind. I cannot forgave Abah for denying me to see Datuk that Raya. And now I see his dead body.

There were talks saying that my mom's death really hit him in the heart. Orang melayu selalu cakap, 'biar mak bapak mati dulu, jangan anak mati dulu...' or something like that.

SO now I have no allies but increasing my anger towards Abah. He was my #1 enemy!

Selamat Pengantin Baru....Razak!

How much people spent these days for a memorable wedding.

With the happy couple.

SHakira & Shakiel at Razak's Wedding.


I have known Razak for so many years. We came from the same company, Hiti Engineering, way back in 1995. We are what you can say 'Partner in Crime'.

As years goes by, one by one of his friends got married and we would naturally teased him when will be his turn. He was seeing a college girl but it didn't last and soon after he left Hiti Engineering. The pay was low considering his years of experienced as an Auto CAD Designer. He landed a good job with better pay and we kinda lost touch.

Until recently I received his call inviting me to his wedding. Razak? Getting married? Wow....finally the day has arrived! He text me,

"Akhirnya adik aku tidak akan bermandi dengan sabun lagi." Kah! Kah! Kah! I replied,
"Ya kau memerdekakan adik kau!"

I considered Razak a buddy because he was the one I would confide in be it personal or financial matters. We could relate to each other. Some of our decisions were good and some were bad which landed me in trouble. My hubby was not so impressed. Razak was the one who taught me that when the speedometer reaches 50kmp you should already be in gear 5. That was when I first took my driving lessons. So much fond memories.

Anyway, I am not here to criticized him but want to share this happy moment. Razak finally found someone he can spend his entire life with. I don't know the whole story of how he meet his wife, or when....Razak semoga perkahwinan mu kekal buat selamanya!

Selamat Pengantin Baru!

Dinner for 2, please?

My date for the evening!

Wild Mushroom Burschetta.

Escargot in melted cheese.

Lamb Shank.

Another view of the Lamb Shank.

Spaghetti Aglio Olio.

The finish product. Ummmm simply delicious!

We finished off with Cappuchino.


Since the kids were away at their grand mother's, we decided to treat ourselves with dinner at an Italian Restaurant located in Bandar Puteri. About time!

After dinner, I called the kids to see how they are doing. Mummy missed you guys.

The mystery of BETTY is solved!

If you recollect from my previous blog entries, I wrote about Betty, the stray dog that sleeps daily in front of my house.

We wondered what's her story about. She never failed coming home and make herself comfy in front of our gate.

Anyway, our neighbor, Uncle Jeffrey, has a muscular dog whose real name is Choy. But we named him Steven anyway after Aerosmith's Steven Tyler since he has such a wide mouth as though he was smiling all the time. Steven would barked at any stranger who passes by and somehow rather we feel save by his presence next door.

Unfortunately, last Friday Steven has moved on to eternal life after a short illness. "He died due to old age", according to Uncle Jeffrey. I am sure his daughter was devastated by the lost. She was quite close and she was the only person Steven would oblige.

I remembered one night we came home and saw Uncle Jeffrey, his wife and 2 older kids were standing outside their gate, peering inside.

My hubby asked, "Apa hal uncle?"
Uncle Jeffrey, "Ta dak, tunngu saya punya anak kasi anjing makan. Nanti kasi ikat. Baru boleh masuk. Banyak garang."

Hahaha.... dgn anjing sendiri pun takut. Both of us giggled....

But Steven was fierce. He will be tied up during they day and freed at nights. Uncle Jeffrey was afraid if the dog would bite my kids. The dog has bitten him a couple of times. That was very thoughtful of him. Steven was playful with my kids...whenever he saw my kids, he stood up and started jumping. Barking softly macam nak ajak main. Never failed.

But, 2 days prior to Steven's death, Betty never showed up at her usual spot. I kept a look out for her on and off.....but she never came back.

Where did she go?
Did she die too?

Finally, my hubby concluded that Betty was only around because of Steven all these years and as though she knew that Steven was going to die. And she left. That was the sign.

So Betty wherever you are, take care.

Steven, we missed your barking.