My Promise To My Children

 To my dearest Shakira and Shakiel,

As long as I live - I am your Parent 1st - your Friend 2nd.  I will stalk you, flip out on you, lecture you, drive you insane, be your worst nightmare & hunt you down like a bloodhound when needed because I LOVE YOU! When you understand that, I will know that you are a responsible adult. You will NEVER find someone who loves, pray, cares and worries about you more than I do! If you don't hate me once in your life - than I am not doing my job properly.

Credit and thank you to that someone who posted and shared the above on the Facebook Wall.

The Final Journey

Al-Fatihah.

I had the opportunity to view Uncle Ros for the last time before they complete ' mengafan'. I kneel down and .....then, I said, " Assalamualaikum Uncle, sampaikan salam Shera pada Abah ye." And a kiss on his forehead.

I was emotional throughout the 'Talqin' reading.  Imam had to pause several times to control his personal emotions.

One by one left and moving forward with their lives. While, Uncle Ros awaits his journey to the after life.

Here lay, Mokhtar bin Sa'aniah, Sharkawi bin Sa'aniah and Mohd Rus bin Sa'aniah. The three TOP GUNs. Gone but never will be forgotten. Left us within 38 months.

 Uncle Mokhtar (on left) and Uncle Ros (on right)

Batu Gajah Hospital

This Sunday afternoon we went to visit Uncle Ros again.

Soon as we arrived at the WAD 2 entrance I saw my cousins, Wani and Azlina, who just visited Uncle Ros. Their eyes were red, watery and swollen. We asked what happened. They said Uncle Ros is not doing well.

The ICU ward is so quite and serene.  We walked straight to Uncle Ros and heard that Aunty Salmah wants to bring  Uncle Ros home. We were told Uncle Ros may have internal bleeding but it has not been confirmed unless scoping is conducted on him at Ipoh General Hospital.

Update : I am not able to finished this article. I just got news that Uncle Ros passed away after a short coma. Please pray for his safe journey to his Maker. Al Fatihah. We will be on our way back to Parit after sahur.

Dear Uncle Ros, Shera minta maaf banyak2 kalau Shera ada buat dosa and don't worry, semua dosa uncle telah pun Shera maafkan. Please send my regards to Tok Din, Tok Niah, Uncle Mokhtar, Uncle Meor, my Mummy and especially my ABAH. Thank you for taking care of me, Uncle.

The Visit

This weekend we went back to Parit and we want to accomplish 2 things.  The first is to break fast this Ramadhan with my mom and secondly to visit Uncle Ros in the hospital. It was a tiresome weekend but I am glad I decided to travel back home, at least should anything happened I will have some piece of mind.

We drove to Hospital Batu Gajah and headed straight to WAD 2.  When we stepped in the ward we saw Aunty Salmah sitting next to Uncle Ros's bed.  After we exchanged salams, I can no longer control my tears.  They just rolled down my cheeks. I was so surprised to see my Uncle Ros, who was a hell of a guy, laying weak and helpless.  I just don't understand how much he shrunk from my last visit.  I took his palm and he gripped and squeeze mine for a long time. It was as though he tried to say something with the groaning sounds he made. The stroke got it to him.

Since my last visit in early July, Uncle Ros had a mild stroke on his left side of body. This happened the night after his dialysis.  He was doing find after the procedure but at around 11 pm he had breathing difficulty which resulted stroke. Scans and x-ray showed Uncle Ros has a blood clot in his brain.  Doctors said they medicate the thinning of the blood clot but paralysis will take some time to recover. Ain't live so fragile. After a week or so at Pantai Puteri Hospital, Uncle Ros was discharged and re-admitted but at Ipoh General Hospital.  The hospital charges was certainly a burden.  However, the hospital bill, which came to RM11k was settled by his brothers and sisters.

Next  I heard he was recuperating at home.  Unfortunately, it wasn't easy to take care of Uncle Ros.  Tantrums. Refuse to eat. Refuse to be inserted with tubes. Due to lack of water in his body, Uncle Ros found himself with blood in urine. A house call doctor advised that the urinary track infection (hematuria) can be controlled. But things got worst when Uncle Ros got the fever.  Doctor recommended that Uncle Ros to be admitted to Batu Gajah Hospital so that he will get the proper medical attention. There was no sign of cancerous cell in him. Aunty Salmah said, apa2 nak jadi pun, biarlah jadi kat rumah ni. She sounded like dia berserah kepada takdir. Whatever will be, will be.  Yes I know they want Uncle Ros to be confortable within his environment should his life ended.

So here I am standing next to his bed with him still clasping my palm. I was touched, very touched. What can I say.....someone I knew who used to be so active, jolly, loud, the martyr of this family has shriveled and all bones. It is like watching my father all over again.  His lips were dry and I suggested Aunty Salmah use a damp cloth to wash his mouth and scrape access from the tough.  I explained in a polite manner with reasoning and I hope she will take my advise. I know what I was taking about. He was breathing through his mouth and refuse tube inserted in his throat to suck out the heavy sputum.

Not only Uncle Ros suffers, his family suffers as well. It was hard watching him deteriorate.  It's a 360 degree turn. Yes it does disrupt the normal life of people close to him but  this is pay back time. He had care for all of us and it is our turn to return the favor.  Aunty Salmah was not much help when I asked what is the medical status, or what treatment is Uncle Ros getting, etc..I know he can get better with proper care.

Now I understand why people opt for euthanasia.

Shakira's Artwork

Shakira picked up the interest in art several years back.  Don't know how or why but there has been good development in her artwork.  I am quite impressed with her free hand artwork. She uses Paint.com.  Frankly speaking I don't know where she picked up this talent.  Me? Perhaps but I am more creative on the handy artwork.  I would give credit myself to 2 major item I completed, 1st being a pinata for her birthday and recently a UFO flying saucer. You can view them in my past entries. But most of all she develop her drawing skills from you tube. She learn how to draw by studying that a face is divided into 4 sections.  That was smart of her! I never thought her that.

I cannot afford to put her through an art class since she is currently attending piano lessons and Kumon. Cost is also another factor.  I wish I am able to find a source where she can develop her talent. Unfortunately her art is limited to drawings of television cartoon characters. She watched and later recreate them on her note books. She will not go any where without her note pad and art supplies.

I find that it is a good thing that she is able to find comfort or rather release her tension into drawing....Keep up the good work. I will figure out something for you baby.

Before Michael Jackson there was Bobby Ferrell.

Before MC Hammer, there was Bobby Ferrell...